Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
