Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
