Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
