i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
