It's Friday. Sex?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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