I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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