Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
