I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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