Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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