Buhtt sex?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize