Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
