doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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