She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize