Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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