Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
