I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize