is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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