I will die if light touches me.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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