I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
