I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
