You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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