i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
All the doctor said was why
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
