I wanna bring you to show and tell
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
