maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
