Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Randomize