I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
