Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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