Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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