All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
