I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
