I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
