Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
