I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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