:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
