I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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