Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
