When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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