I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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