***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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