...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
