dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
