I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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