I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
