margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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