Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
4 words: hood of his car
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
