would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
