is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
