She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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