you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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