Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
