Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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