Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
