Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
