My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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