I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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