Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He did a backflip because drugs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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