Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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